Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
