i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
