thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
