I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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