is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
