Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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