She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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