i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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