he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
this hospital has no fireball
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
