Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
