I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
its liver damage thursday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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