I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
