We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize