these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
