I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
