I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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