i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
