porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
