i would punch a child for taco bell
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
