she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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