well you can't waste a boner
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
