you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
