I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
what day is it and did you see me today?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
