Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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