I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
