Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
