Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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