I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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