So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
