I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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