so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
