I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
