last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
