I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't think brook has ever known best
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
