you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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