Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize