WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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