yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
