Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I didn't notice because vodka
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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