Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize