you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
