Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
