Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.