dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
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DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city