Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.