Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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  (330): I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going? http://tfl.nu/4uq9
  Replies (49) Good night (1069) Bad night (20546) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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  (248): Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks. http://tfl.nu/vf46
  Replies (89) Good night (1287) Bad night (22258) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

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  (520): His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now (310): Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok... http://tfl.nu/uoe6
  Replies (14) Good night (4179) Bad night (956)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class

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  (913): girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class http://tfl.nu/grnd
  Replies (20) Good night (6354) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I take back everything I said about communal showers

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  (865): I take back everything I said about communal showers http://tfl.nu/iybg
  Replies (5) Good night (3546) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.

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  (587): She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28. http://tfl.nu/r7ey
  Replies (8) Good night (886) Bad night (4205) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

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  (419): Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl... http://tfl.nu/mv65
  Replies (8) Good night (4055) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers

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  (716): I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers http://tfl.nu/1krf
  Replies (12) Good night (3830) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.

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  (585): yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign. http://tfl.nu/yitg
  Replies (10) Good night (3077) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

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  (707): I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA http://tfl.nu/ppt3
  Replies (23) Good night (2962) Bad night (1278) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.

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  (425): so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork. http://tfl.nu/y2vt
  Replies (0) Good night (1498) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch

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  (203): we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch http://tfl.nu/wvpl
  Replies (7) Good night (2315) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.

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  (250): Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks. http://tfl.nu/2d3d
  Replies (3) Good night (1709) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.

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  (410): Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop. http://tfl.nu/b326
  Replies (18) Good night (556) Bad night (1320) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.

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  (337): I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet. http://tfl.nu/ug81
  Replies (5) Good night (3125) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt

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