Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
