oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
