He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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