Me too!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
