I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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