I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
