I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize