I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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