He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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