Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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