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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
