You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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