So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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