you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
