yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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