I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Found your dick twin last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
