Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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