I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
