Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
