I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
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she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
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