Your mouth is God's brothel.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"