I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.