what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire